Your son is enormously blessed to have a Mommy who loves him enough she is clawing up mountains to get better and be her best self for him!!! That’s what you are! Your BEST self AND still trying harder yet!! That’s huge!
I struggled most after my middle of three children & I felt sooo terrible, like I was robbing him of this ideal situation I SHOULD be able to manage to create for him…it wasn’t fair his big brother got a REAL Mommy & now 2nd guy is just stuck with what I’d become… It was a big far lie for one, I was doing my best & I WAS enough. I used to look into his infant eyes & apologize through my tears… I SWEAR I saw him reassure me with his eyes everytime:
“It’s okay Mama,
YOU’re okay Mama!”
Interestingly, that son has blossomed into a very tenderhearted, kind & generously forgiving little boy. He says those words out loud now with the SAME look he always did…generous loving acceptance and when necessary, forgiveness without reservation, not the slightest inclination of feeling slighted. He’s much more confident than his amazing older brother (both are wonderful) and watching them tenderly care for their baby sister (who’s bright & tough in her own right) shows me what came of my struggles … That in our home we have created an environment where we CARE about & for eachother. We all struggle & suffer at times & in our home /little world, when one of us is in that vulnerable place, we sit by them, wrap our arms around their shoulders & just BE there with them.
My boys had a Mom with flaws and it taught them to be tender & gentle hearted. I needed tenderness & could articulate that sometimes (“I’m having a hard day and my heart is tender today” or “My angry feelings are REALLY close to the surface today, please be patient with my grumpiness… I’m trying hard to be sweet. You are working hard & being so helpful with ___ & ____…that helps me so much!”
1045 15th AVE NW, Ardmore, OK 73401
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